Relationships at the Center: A Student’s Perspective
December 2, 2021
Going through the motions, trials, and tribulations of being a young adult — unheard — can undoubtedly be one of the biggest challenges we face as youth. Feeling unheard is such a major factor in growing up that when we — the future — are given the opportunity to properly assess and process our emotions, we welcome it and seek advice from those who may have already experienced similar situations. To understand the importance of having a mentor figure in your life to help aid in your maturing, I thought it’d be best to call on my peers in my own school to seek their thoughts and opinions regarding their relationships with the adults we see on a day-to-day basis in our school building, and provide advice to others hoping to start or improve their mentoring relationships.
Did you have relationships with mentors or caring adults in school? Tell me about your experience.
Lashae, 12th grade: “They have helped me prepare for college, wrote letters of recommendation, and were there after school if I needed help with something.”
Courtney, 12th grade: “When I’m with them it’s basically asking for help when I need it, college recommendations, and talking to them about stuff going on in my life.”
Naesoj, 12th grade: “Having mentors and teachers in school has positively impacted my growth as a person, student, and leader in my community. It has positively impacted my mental health as far as being stressed out or mad or tired. Having a mentor or teacher in school who you’re comfortable talking to has allowed me to get through all those rough times.”
What is something you would tell the adults in a school building about building relationships with students? What advice would you give?
Lashae, 12th grade: “Try to put yourself in their shoes and understand their position as students rather than looking at it from the perspective of a teacher. That we are still kids and still learning.”
Courtney, 12th grade: “To show that you actually care and go through the emotions. Know about where the student is coming from and their background.”
Naesoj, 12th grade: “I’d tell them to meet students where they’re at rather than students meeting them, showing care and consideration for the things they endure. That with the society we live in now students are battling a lot more than academics and that should be considered.”
To conclude, I thought I would ask one of my mentors at school, Mr. McClanahan, what advice he would give to others. He shared the following:
Mr. McClanahan, College and Career Advisor: “I think I built good relationships with you and other students by talking to them about things that aren’t work related. Obviously, my main goal is to help you apply to college and apply to careers, but I think it is important for me to also just have real conversations with you guys and so you know we talk a lot about music, basketball, and other sports and I think that really does help to cultivate a strong relationship.”
From my own experience I have learned that it can be challenging to build relationships with school staff especially when conversations are almost always about academic things. During my last year of high school, I have been lucky enough to form a bond with someone in a greater way than strictly “How are your grades?” conversations. For example, Mr. McClanahan, one of my school’s College and Career Advisors, has given me a safe space to express myself, figure out and organize various aspects of my life, and has been someone I have been able to talk to. He is the perfect example of a good mentor. While asking him how he went about creating relationships with me and other students, his advice was simple, but quintessential to a strong mentoring relationship: “I would say just care, like genuinely care.”
Honest care is the key to cultivating a successful mentoring relationship. From caring about the little things, to the life changing moments, to the rollercoaster of emotions life sends us, expressing true consideration, concern and guidance will lead you to a world of success between you and those who look up to you.