Closure

Mentoring relationships change over time and may end for any number of reasons. Strong programs establish a closure process and include it in their policies and procedures manual. This section includes information on what steps your program should take when a mentoring relationship ends and sample tools to assist you, the mentor and mentee.

Reaching Closure

Mentoring relationships may change over time and may end for any number of reasons.

A mentor and mentee pair may not get along;
Either the mentor or the mentee drops out of the program;
Life circumstances may make it difficult or impossible to continue the relationship (a mentor is transferred to another city or changes in family responsibilities or living situations occurs for either mentor or mentee);
The mentee reaches a level of self-sufficiency with the particular mentor so that mentoring is no longer needed; or
The program ended.

As with the end of other relationships, mentors and mentees are likely to have mixed feelings. If the relationship ends prematurely or on a negative note, either may feel angry, rejected or even depressed. Both may feel guilty. For young people with low self-esteem, the end of the mentoring relationship may reinforce attitudes of worthlessness and hopelessness. Also, it is possible that you may not be able to have a formal closure process for both the mentor and mentee due to circumstances surrounding their departure from the mentoring program. In these instances, is important to reach out to each to provide closure of their mentoring relationship.

Remind the mentor and mentee that their relationship is not necessarily an ending, but instead a transition from formal mentoring. When mentors no longer are needed for intensive support and nurturing, they still can hold an important place in their mentees' lives.

Think of the ending of a mentoring relationship as a process rather than a singular event. Establish a process for your program and include it in your policies and procedures manual. Be sure to follow these procedures every time a relationship ends - no matter what the reason. Be sure to:

Hold private and confidential exit interviews (Have mentees meet with staff; mentors meet with staff; and mentors and mentees meet with each other.);
Listen to and support both as they sort out what happened in the relationship and what (if anything) went wrong;
Accept whatever real feelings they have about the relationship;
Help them remember the good aspects of the relationship and the positive things they did;
Provide them with questions they should ask of themselves and each other that will help them articulate thoughts and feelings, such as:

What was the most fun activity?
What should I not do again?
Did we achieve the goals we set?
What did we learn from each other?
What will we take from the relationship?

Review your program's policies about mentors and mentees contacting each other outside the program; and
Help the mentee define next steps for achieving personal goals.

(This section is excerpted from How to Build a Successful Mentoring Program Using the Elements of Effective Practice, Section VI. How to Structure Effective Program Operations.)

Closure Resources

Additional information, resources and tools are available in the Find Resources section and in the How to Build a Successful Mentoring Program Using the Elements of Effective Practice Tool Kit.